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April 24, 2006
confusion just adds fuel to the blaze
CURRENT MOOD: Intuitive?
"There were alot of people here today. Is there like some two-for-one special going on today?"~me
that was how today's therapy session started... today, there were more people than usual at the insert name of place, where i now go to 2 times a wk for my sessions... at this point, quite a number of things have been revealed to my therapist, and a unique kind of bond has been formed between us, i would like to think... of course a few wks ago i mistaken this bond as something of the romantic sort, but after somewhat revealing my feelings in a txt message, and a session dedicated to the topic of our stance, i realized that wasn't the case.... after going into a few details of my current relationship interactions with a particular person, and describing "how it made me feel"... he stated from time to time he's feelings for me... NO, not the romantic kind... but more, the "i am worried about you" kind... that is exactly what he said, that he was worried about me....
intuition is something I do not trust in, or at least, i do not trust in my intuition about things, especially when it comes to romance..... today, i told him about my complicated situation, there were things "Guy" (i rather not reveal his name at this point) was doing that i was not comfortable with... but of course, since i am not his g/f per se (though intimately involved with) i feel as if i have no right whatsoever to voice out "girlfriend-ish" concerns... at this statement, my therapist to my surprise, exclaimed, "NO!".... a long bout of silence... at times he went to explain he felt protective of me, urging me to trust my instincts and that he was worried that i would fall into the downward spiral i've been caught in before....
it's nice for someone to worry about you... it really is...
"well, it's normal to have these feelings for people. It's okay that you want to know what is going on in "Guy's" life, and that you want to know what's going on, even though you're not his g/f... because everyone feels that for someone at one point" ~therapist
"yeah, but people are hypocrites, and they dont want to recognize it. He'll just see me as the "obsessive" g/f who is not even his g/f. Just like my ex, he saw me as the psychotic g/f, as did everyone else. I try to see from all perspectives, and not be judgemental, but not all people do that." ~me
*pause*
"well, our time is up for today.... is insert time here on Thursday good for you?"
"yeah"
"okay, see you thursday"
"see you thursday"
SONG THAT BEST REFLECTS TODAY'S BLOG: I Found A Reason by Cat Power
Posted by ~*Pretty Kitty*~ at 08:34 PM | Comments (0)
April 17, 2006
per i tuoi occhi solamente
CURRENT MOOD: missing you
mi manchi.... mi manchi tanto.... c'è nessuno che amo quanto te... ma non lo saprai mai perchè non voglio rovinare la nostra amicizia intima... sì... solamente una amicizia... per quando chiudi la porta, abbiamo qualcosina più.... diventiamo gli amanti.... spero che pensa di me con affetto.... pregerò per il giorno che ti rendi conto dello tuo amore per me... per il giorno ci innamoriamo...... ma non succederà.... possibile? cos'è possibile per noi? non lo so... ma sarò con te sempre.... sei un amico più carino che ci sia... sei un amantore più gentile che ci sia..... il mio tesoro, prima che mi addormenti con sogni d'oro di tu... devo dire che sei il pi cosa meravigliosa mi succedere mai.... senza di te, non so come avrei sopravvivere.... grazie a te, sono contenta
SONG THAT BEST REFLECTS TODAY'S BLOG: Where Did Our Love Go? by Softcell
Posted by ~*Pretty Kitty*~ at 03:17 AM | Comments (0)
April 12, 2006
un veritiero modo di parlare (a myspace blog)
CURRENT MOOD: Satisfied
Revenge has never appeared to be so sweet....
Zaidy.... well, well, well! I see my plan has worked accordingly... FIRST, let me explain a bit... I found it just a teensy bit odd that a particular individual by the name of Piper has been checking my profile at least once everyday at approx. 9am my time (probably 12pm your time)... at the first day, i gave it no notice, thinking it was some other random person checking my stats...
(PROMOTIONAL PLUG IN!!! go visit Who's On My Page to find out how to check who is looking at your profile!!)
but after the 4th or 5th time this has happened, I began to wonder.... who could this be?! well, well, well... putting two and two together, I came to realize that it was YOU indeed. Now, I wonder what it is about my profile that intrigued you so!! I should hope that its not that you have a crush on me or anything (for that would make things VERY awkward), but perhaps, like the obsessive girlfriend I was some time ago, (my therapist and I are slowly but surely fixing that) that you felt as if Brian wasn't being as true as you were hoping he was... that you would find the teensy-est bit of evidence to justify a break-up... I mean, come on... trying to survive a long distance relationship with oh-so many juicy options right on your doorstep, I am sure, is devastating...
but of course I did make Brian a promise never to say a word... well, promise kept Mr. Semmler... but someone has to teach him a lesson, not to fuck with a girl's heart, ANY girl's heart... so me being the revengeful ex I was, I justified my previous blog (knowing you would read it Zaidy) with the fact that at one point last year I did waste many nights crying and mourning over him... (besides, it served the dual purpose to give girls hope that guys who made you feel like shit, do get what they deserve eventually, since many of my friends were going through a similar experience as I had many months ago.....) he made my life a living hell, so I just had to return the favor... I am sorry Zaidy for using you as some sort of chess piece in this game of vendetta... but I am sure even YOU must admit, he had it coming... every JERK in this goddamn world deserves a little pain now and then, and what better way to hit him then right in the goddamn balls....
First, I take away his weapons... both of them.... (Sin City)
So with all that said and done, I must tell you I did not do this with an intention to ruin your life, but to ruin his... and in reality, possibly better you life... because every girl's life is better once her "man" is gone... I hope you found your peace... I hope both my blogs found you well... and I hope that little son of a bitch is crying a river
Ladies... we should not be creating rivalries against each other, but rather stand up together and hurt the fuckers who are the real reason we get hurt time & time again... because life has never been better, once they're gone!!
SONG THAT BEST REFLECTS TODAY'S BLOG: Cell Block Tango from the movie Chicago
Posted by ~*Pretty Kitty*~ at 11:25 AM | Comments (0)
April 10, 2006
sono cercare di conseguire la mia vendetta solomente... (a myspace blog)
CURRENT MOOD: Revengeful
THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO: the few whom, in the past few days, had their tears shed for losers, good-for-nothings, slobs, & jerks... this is proof that what goes around DOES come around... and they will get what's coming to them... you know I am always here to help you plot your vendetta... ^_^
well now.... look who comes crawling back... lol, isn't karma just the greatest thing in the world... for years, my tears have been shed for losers... literally, losers... my ex-s & flings... now & always, losers... i have mentioned many times before how songs seem to magically appear (or reappear in this case) in my life according to relevance.... well, listening to this song "Cry Me A River" by Julie London reminds me of a few events that has happened w/in the past few wks...
the first instance was of course my ex in LA... he calls from time to time, "checking up on me" & seeing how I am doing... funny thing is, i suppose he expects me to be doing horribly, because when I tell him of the great time I am having (partying with friends, on & off dates, etc. etc) he goes beserk on me! calling me a whore for not staying on rebound & getting over him so easily... well, in the words of my friend sandra "COME MIERDA!!" ... lol ( i am so buying you that shirt one day sandra!) ....so I got over him, so what? Cry me a river, cause I cried a river over you....
then, SURPRISE SURPRISE, another ex ends up contacting me sporadically over time... of course names will not be mentioned because of his obsessive ex (or g/f or whatever, i have no idea what is going on between them two) .... last i knew, he said they were just taking a break, and she was still faithful towards him... lol, BS (hahaha, what a pun!!!)...... i was shocked over the V-day wishes, and then a seemingly random correspondence some time after, but the way he is living his life (or really the way the g/f is living his life) just pissed me off... so *BLOCK* why do i want to waste my time w/ a "friend" who wants to keep our friendship a secret in fear of this g/f.... ??? idk, but that too is a load of BS.... hahaha Well You Can Cry Me A River... like I care about keeping secrets & a "friendship" i really no longer care about...
then, last, but not least, some guy who blew me off some time ago... haven't really spoken to him in a while, but outta no where, he shows up with a stare & a smile, inviting me to some frat party of his (which i ended not going to for having better things to do w/ my time)... i admit, he is well off right now, and in all honestly, i dont blame him for our losing contact... but it seems he is just trying to get things together... we'll see what happens next...
well, all these guys (ok, minus the last one... kinda ) are losers... and allow me to elaborate... both live w/ their parents, one still doesn't have a job while the other has a lame excuse for a job... one is ruled by drugs, alcohol & depression, while the other is ruled by a tyrannical overlord.... overall, I am so much better off without them... my life has never been better, honestly... but i cannot say that without thanking a few of those friends who really turned my life topsy turvy, and made sure to keep it that way..... i hope this finds you all well, and for those of you who doubt the fact that those who hurt you will get their share..... let me tell ya, later on, they will cry a river over you.... ^_^
SONG THAT BEST REFLECTS TODAY'S BLOG: Cry Me A River by Julie London
click the link below for the lyrics to this blog's song
Continue reading " sono cercare di conseguire la mia vendetta solomente... (a myspace blog)"
Posted by ~*Pretty Kitty*~ at 12:49 PM | Comments (0)
April 01, 2006
*sings* can you feel the loooooooove tonight!
CURRENT MOOD: Peaceful
wowzers........spring break was GREAT!!!!!!! it was not filled with girls in bikinis, crazy drunken parties, one night stands, and as my rhetoric teacher suggested, jello shots......... but instead it was filled with newfound connections, old friends, good times, and, a different sense of the world........back in LA, things happened that need not to be discussed w/ no one else but my therapist (its not that it was horrible... just i its personal) but going to LA opened my eyes to a different kind of world i forgot existed.....with protests, walk outs, and family dilemmas, no one could have gone through that without having to think just a little...... and my trip to new york.......*sigh* my trip to new york....... not one bit of it was flawed, every moment was perfect, and so much better than what i had imagined.... of course the plane ride there was unbearable, sitting still in a seat for 5 hours straight is impossible, even w/ the help of the television...... but when i landed, it was just so strange..... i had no idea where i was, and what to do.... so new york was a place of basic instincts and logic, for once, i followed basic instincts and logic..... my friend arrived, and i got the biggest hug from him... we were obviously very excited at the fact that for the next few days we were gonna have new york to ourselves...... to myself...... so i did new york.... him and i went to the promenade in brooklyn at night a few times (a very romantic, {not meant in a couple b/f & g/f kinda sense but as a storybook fairytale sense} and beautiful view of new york as a whole), we went on the staten island ferry for an up close and personal view of the statue of liberty, we walked landmarks such as the brooklyn bridge, central park, trump tower, times square, broadway, coney island, little italy, chinatown, little russia, etc., etc..... but most importantly, i saw a side of new york very few tourists get to experience, my friend's point of view... i saw his hometown, where he grew up..... a funny jewish community with funny people dressed in black (not ur average goth!).... i even saw his high school teachers and just all the wonders of brooklyn from a new yorkers perspective....... i took loads of pics, only three include me (unless you count the pics my friend took feat. our feet and shadow)......... even the hostel i stayed in was wonderful! it was clean, nice, and i stayed with some awesome people! all girls travelling on their own from places like australia, canada, and even singapore!!! i sang kareoke for 2 hours at 2am, i ate knish and baklava, i was shoved by a new yorker down times square, i rode the subway and got lost (kinda), i was romanced by italians down the street, i took a stroll on the beach (and now have my own bottle of atlantic water), i had a slice of good ol' NY pizza w/ anchovies (YUM!!), but most importantly, i had a vacation, no worries, no regrets, no what ifs, no second thoughts, no doubts, no frowns, no tears (ok, a few tears, but soon followed by a hug and smile)............. it was lovely, it was splendid, it was the experience of a lifetime....... i love new york.... and i wouldn't be surprised if that was my nxt destination of address....... but it wasn't the sights and sounds that make the journey so wonderful........ honestly, if it hadn't been for my friend, i dont think i would have had as good of a time as i did..... lovely weather followed me where i went, and even the sun here in berkeley is shining brightly for my return.... i wished i didn't have to leave, and my friend and i honestly contemplated me staying for a while longer (unfortunately he was going upstate w/ some friends, and his friends said there was no room for me)...... but its okay, i had my time, and i wouldn't have asked for anything more...... *sigh* i've been to a place, where blue birds fly............
SONG THAT BEST REFLECTS TODAY'S BLOG: A Whole New World from the Disney movie Aladdin
Posted by ~*Pretty Kitty*~ at 01:58 PM | Comments (0)