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October 01, 2005
it's been awhile
CURRENT MOOD: Regretful, but not regreting
why am i cursed with the touch of death? well it's not necessarily as if i kill all i touch, just...i don't know the difference from fantasy and reality, which can, at times, be harmful......it's that when i want something, really want something, no matter what, i can't have it.....i can have everyone else, but the one i love.....i fall in love to easily. so what if you have the perfect definition of love, i fit the requirements of a lovesick girl. i think about him all the time, he is the first one on my mind when i wake up, and the last one i think about before going to sleep. my day revolves around him, and when i am with him, it seems to last a second in forever.....have you ever experienced that? where when you are with someone, it seems to last an eternity, but then again seem to last only a minute? he makes me laugh, and he is so, different.....of course everyone i fall in love with are different in their own way. just the thought of being with him, even if it was only as a friend, would be......so.....so wonderful. he can be the one to make, & break, my day.....he is a dangerous man to have this kind of power over me, but he does, and he may not even realize it. he will never realize it.....he's laying in bed, while i am here typing my little heart away. he may have a notion though, it's my fault if he has any idea......i wished i never said anything at first, but i am just that kinda person....passionate, too passionate....when i fall for something, i fall hard, i can never just "like" something, every song i have, every romance i lived, every hobby i possess, at one point in my life, was more than just.....it was a love, a passion......i would love to get to know him, it's always nice to have a friend who can make me smile like he can, who can really just get me to forget about all that life has to destroy.......i don't know why, but i know that with him i can forget about troubles back home, friends who double as enemies, loneliness that can eat away a person's soul.......i can forget about a life that breeds insanity........perfection, he would be a great subject to capture on paper....i would hope to be able to one day do so........well, it's 2:30 am, and if for some reason, if by some off chance he is reading this, well, i want you to know i am sorry, for using you as the flavor of the month...i hope we can be friends
SONG THAT BEST REFLECTS TODAY'S BLOG: Senza Fine by Monica Mancini
All Blogs on One Page , Confessions , The Muse behind the blog: Giovanni | By ~*Pretty Kitty*~ | 02:36 AM
Comments
Reading your blog reminds me of the song "Infatuation":
Early in the morning I can’t sleep
I can’t work and I can’t eat
I’ve been drunk all day, can’t concentrate
Maybe I’m making a big mistake
Oh no not again
It hurts so good
I don’t understand
Infatuation
No cure for infatuation. You just have to dream and suffer...
Posted by: Nick at October 1, 2005 09:17 AM
im sorry you are going through a hard time. ive had moments myself. but i guess what i wanted to say is that i had a friend of mine die about 4 years ago. and while the world does keep spinning, i think about him everyday and still cherish him just as much as when he was alive. now part of my purpose is to make him proud. there are people out there that love you and care. hope things get better for you. you have my email adress.
Posted by: michelle at October 6, 2005 12:13 AM